Dear drunk driver

  • Published
  • By Anonymous
  • Anonymous
Dear drunk driver,

We don't know each other. We never met. That is until our lives literally collided. It was a night/early morning I wish I could forget and, in some ways, have forgotten. I guess there is part of me that also wishes I could remember more.

The night started out great, I was with my sister and a great friend. We were having a good night, and surprisingly I was in a good mood when we got in the car and headed home. On our way home we stopped and got some food, saw another friend and was warned to drive safe. There really isn't much after that I remember until I woke up in the back of the car and people were staring at us. Then I heard my sister screaming. She obviously didn't hear me because she didn't respond.

All I remember is pain after that. The rest I was told from friends and family. No one would tell me, but I knew my friend didn't make it through the accident. I feel guilty because I made it and she did not. Especially since she had a young daughter that was going to have to grow up without her now -- I just didn't feel right.

There was a part of me that wishes, more than anything, I could go back and switch places with her, that I was the one that didn't make it through the accident. Now, almost 12 years later, I do understand why things ended the way they did. If I hadn't made it, my husband wouldn't be mine and our children wouldn't exist, but the guilt still hasn't gone away completely.

In the beginning I didn't feel anything but hatred for you and the people who allowed you to get in the car after all the drinks you consumed that night. Part of me was glad that you too, didn't make it, that now your family was going to have to go through the rest of their lives without you.

After learning, growing and 12 years of fighting to remember and grateful for my memory loss, I feel sorry for those you love. I feel sorry for you. I wish I knew for sure how old you were, I just know you were young and didn't really have a chance to live. We were all young, the ones who survived had to grow up a little more than we should have, and the ones that lost their lives didn't get to experience the wonderful things there is to experience here.

I want you to know that I have forgiven you for the accident. I may not fully forgive myself yet, but I am getting there. I pray that you have learned a lesson and understand the consequences of your actions, that you can help others with your story. That we all can help someone, somewhere not have to live with the physical and mental wounds we have.

I hope you have found peace.